dis ease

what is this thing in me that is incomplete without some gadget, gizmo, trinket...
I know what addiction feels like and this is very close to it (denial). My financial outlook depends on my work. The quality of my output depends on the ability of my hardware to keep up with my wetware. Not to brag, but my wetware is capable of doing the work and complaining about how the hardware is holding me back. But would a faster cpu, a faster drive, more memory truly improve the quality of my output... or would it increase the inertia, sending my careening through dead-end ideas, smashing thru barracades only to be reeled back in later. Lost and disoriented, like I feek right now.